It’s Not As Hard as It Seems to Make and Keep Friends

By Diane Gage Lofgren and Margaret Bhola –

Here are a few tips we’ve learned to seal the deal of friendship as related to the article “Getting Intentional About Female Friendship”:

1. Make time for friends. You have to run errands or eat lunch on the weekends; invite her along! Ask her what you can help her with–cleaning out closets for a garage sale, making favors for her friend’s wedding–and spend time talking and laughing as you do it. Betcha she’ll return the favor.

2. Keep in touch with long-distance friends. Set a time to share a virtual glass of wine or set a time to walk and talk on your headset. Plan a get-together. Send her postcards when you travel.  Pick up the phone and simply say, “I was just thinking about you. How are you?”

3. Join a group or form one! Can you start a book or cooking club? Join a mommy’s group or investment club? Make a date for a once-a-month breakfast for four or commit to take yoga together?

4. Don’t always pick your mirror image. Invite someone unlike you out for coffee or ask if you can pick her up for your volunteer work. Find the connection points–kids, faith, hobbies, careers, pastimes, travel–and take it from there!

5.  Avoid keeping score. It’s OK if you’re the one who reaches out first or makes the reservations or plans the day. And it’s also just fine if your friend is the one who takes it on. Dump the guilt. Be grateful you have friends to join you in the fun and then enjoy the experience!

Diane Gage Lofgren and Margaret Bhola are the authors of Women I Want to Grow Old With http://womeniwanttogrowoldwith.com/book that sprang from Diane and Margaret’s mutual desire to foster their female friendships–and their friendship with each other. Diane is the author of nine books and the Chief Communication Officer for a national health organization. Margaret, a health advocate, effective leader and team coach, is a National Marketing Director for NSA International.