By Norine Rae –
Habakkuk 2:2-3
“Then the Lord answered me and said, ‘Record the vision and inscribe it on tablets, that the one who reads it may run. “For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal, and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay.”
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Have you found yourself out there in the world again looking for a soul mate? This could be due to a death of a spouse or a devastating divorce, but in your heart you long for a new relationship. Research by Bowling Green State sociologist Susan Brown and I-FenLin indicates that the divorce rate in the past twenty years has doubled among individuals fifty and older.
But, with God there is hope that new relationship can foster and be successful.
First, I recommend taking the time to seek God and be certain that you are fully healed before leaping into another relationship. Don’t be afraid to seek counsel. When I went through my divorce I was so blessed to have many people speak into my life. While attending Simpson University, to get my Masters, the school offered six counseling sessions for free so I thought, “Why not.”
It was a big step for me to go to a counselor because I have always wanted to look strong. For some reason, I saw it as a weakness, even though I had seen a counselor in the past to assist me through hardships and loss. The counselor I got at Simpson University was amazing. She shared something with me that may help you too. She said, “Even the greatest athletes have a coach.”
This statement gave me so much freedom. I was being coached to be a better partner, to fully forgive and to let go of the pain. I became open to learning new skills for life, relationships and communication. This included setting good boundaries and finding resources that would give me the tools to make better choices.
Rebound relationships rarely seem to last so I was determined to set my course on getting healed first. Yet, I have not given up on my dream for the right partner and neither should you, unless the Lord has told you that it is better to stay single. Some people are called to be single. I just don’t believe I am one of them.
So I sat down and made a list of what I was looking for in a partner. Some may not think that they’re realistic expectations or that my criteria are too high!
But this is my list and yours will be better suited towards you. Don’t be afraid to make a list and ask God for the qualities in a man that you are asking Him for.
| “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!”. (Matt. 7:11) “And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive “. (Matt. 21:22) |
It’s good to know what attributes you desire so that you can begin praying for your spouse before you meet him. Many people settle for someone just because they don’t want to be alone and then when problems start to occur they blame God and others.
It’s important to know what kind of man you’re looking for. The list may change, but don’t switch off your brain when the sparks begin to fly. The relationship could end poorly. Trust your instincts, God, and the counsel of your friends. I’ve always remembered what Dr. James Dobson said on one of his radio programs, he said, “You should not ignore the signs during the courting process.”
Request: Father I ask you for a husband with these qualities – (These things are not necessarily listed in the order of importance):
- He loves You with all his heart, and desires to serve you above all else. Therefore: He loves Your Word, Your presence and has an intimate relationship with You. He is known in the gates as in Proverbs 31. He is a man of valor believing in Your power and love.
- He is a man of integrity who does not lie…
- He is a good communicator and is not afraid of confrontation. He walks out Matt.18 with others especially me.
- He loves me, and my family. I in turn embrace his family. Our families blend well.
- My family and friends like and respect him. Therefore: They see that he is good for me. They celebrate our relationship and his family and friends in turn feel that I am good for him as well.
- He is financially stable.
- He is emotionally, spiritually, intellectually and physically strong.
- He is a giver/philanthropist. Therefore: He does not walk in a poverty spirit, but is one who has great generosity and wisdom.
- He enjoys traveling and has a heart for the nations, local community, and church.
- He wants our home to be open to others, offering hospitality.
- He doesn’t care that I don’t want to cook at times.
- He loves to pray with me and enjoys worship.
- He loves water/beach and the outdoors.
- He likes to take walks and enjoys watching “good” movies.
- He is wise. Therefore: He is humble and willing to learn and take council from godly men and woman. He trusts and respects my council and I his.
- He is a man of mercy and grace – therefore he is not legalistic.
- He encourages me to move forward in my gifts and callings valuing me as a child of God. He sees my worth and is willing to not only tell me, but he shows me through his actions. There is a demonstration – not just talk.
- Our spiritual gifts work together for the good of the kingdom.
- We are attracted to one another.
- He only has eyes for me and does not have a problem with lust. Yet, he has a healthy (godly) sexual appetite.
- He desires to be in good health and has healthy eating habits.
- He has surrendered his life completely to the Lord, therefore, he has no vises that hinder his relationship with Him or me. When or if he stumbles, he is a man who is able to repent and is willing to work on his shortcomings. He can and does apologize when wrong, but also does the work to become a better person, and I too do the same. In other words, he can admit when he is wrong and is always willing to change to become more like Jesus.
- He loves to have fun and enjoys life. He is a positive person who sees the good in others and that our future with God is bright!
Wow… My list seems long, but these are core values for me. Ask yourself what you value in a relationship and make a list. Your list will surely be different because we are different.
What are you looking for in a husband? What are your interests? Pray into your husband’s life before you even meet him.
The Lord cares about the things that concern you so if you desire a partner don’t be afraid to ask. The Lord teaches us in John 15:7 that if we abide in Him and if His words abide in us then we can ask whatever we wish, and it will be done for us. Certainly, God cares deeply about our happiness and relationships. So don’t be afraid to take the time to consider what characteristics you are looking for in a partner and trust that God desires the very best for you and for me!
The key to success is found in Matthew 6:33. “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Remember to seek first His ‘kingdom’ and His ‘righteousness’ (which is being in proper alignment with Him): Then ‘all these things’, yes everything… will be added to YOU!
1 thought on “Vision for a Soul Mate”
Thanks so much for this, Norma! I feel as though I am ready to pray this man into my life now … as I continue to heal, I know that we together, he and I, will be able to hold the level of relationship He is preparing he and I to hold with each other, for each other and in each other … Such exiciting times !!